Delayed Ejaculation – The Complications And Management
Your sexual health can tell a lot about your physical health and lifestyle habits. Experts unanimously agree that delayed ejaculation can be an outcome of complex interplay of cultural, relationship, psychological and biological factors. Although, diagnosis is subjective in most cases, your healthcare provider may recommend comprehensive physical and genitourinary examination as well as laboratory investigations (endocrinological and neurological assessment and evaluation of prostatic, urethral, testicular and epididymal functions) to ascertain the primary cause in order to plan a solid treatment strategy.
Why Should You Consider The Management Of Delayed Ejaculation?
Some men can easily hide delayed ejaculation by faking an orgasm. Guys who engage in protected sex can fake more easily with a condom but even without a condom, some men can fool their partner. But should you continue to hide your DE from your partner?
The answer is NO.
Poorly managed delayed ejaculation may have deleterious implications on personal, social and sexual life. Here are some of the complications of DE:
- Low Self-esteem: Men with delayed ejaculation become very anxious and often suffer from low self-esteem. In some cases, it may cause serious distress and interpersonal conflicts that may in turn interferes with other aspects of life and/or relationship.
- Effect on quality of sex life: In poorly managed cases, delayed ejaculation may affect your capacity to satisfy your partner as most men tend to get over-conscious and agitated while hiding their DE from their partner.
- Effect on bonding with the partner: Your sexual problems can affect the emotional health and confidence of your partner too. Having orgasm but not reaching to climax can have a very negative impact on your partner’s psych. Some partners can take it personally and begin to question their own attractiveness and/ or their relationship with you. In the absence of sound communication, the partner can easily get hurt and become angry and offended.
How Can You Manage Delayed Ejaculation?
A comprehensive treatment plan is utilized for the management of DE, depending on the pathophysiology and severity of symptoms. When the cause is mostly acute and transient (such as an ongoing genital infection or a certain pharmacological therapy); management involves sorting out these factors. For more chronic and refractory cases, following interventions are helpful:
1. Masturbatory Retraining:
This strategy requires participation of both patient and his partner. In masturbatory retraining, the patient is advised to use this tool as a dress rehearsal (using calculated movements to achieve psychosexual arousal). The masturbatory activity should also be tailored to match the stimulation achieved by oral, manual, or vaginal intercourse. In some cases, therapist may even ask to put a temporary hold on masturbation to manage DE.
Holding back emotions and trouble in letting go doesn’t let men immerse in ultimate sexual pleasure. They might be aroused physically but mentally they are disconnected. Another reason is that many men only rely on the usual “touches” to get turned on and do not use their mind to get aroused. Many therapists advise use of bodily movements and fantasies to achieve sexual excitation.
Many men are not able to enjoy sex because they only engage in sex to brag about how many women they have slept with. Having medicines like Viagra or forcing yourself is not the solution. One must feel the pleasure and should feel intimately connected with their partner by self-therapy and training.
3. Discuss With Your Healthcare Professional:
Talking about delayed ejaculation is much easier than talking about erectile dysfunction because unlike ED, once you have orgasm you can keep erection for a longer time period. According to a new study, the management of delayed ejaculation is dependent on the primary etiology and patient preferences. Carbergoline is the most popular pharmacological remedy for DE, with or without lifestyle modification and sexual counseling. Delay in ejaculation can be a hint of other underlying health problems. For example certain medications can cause delayed ejaculation as a transient side effect. This also includes some commonly prescribed antidepressants, which is why it is highly recommended to take your sexual health seriously and discuss your problems with a doctor to look for alternative solution (medications).
4. Discuss With Your Partner:
Keep the communication open and discuss this problem with your partner because this can badly affect your relationship. For example, when going to doctor, take your partner along as this will strengthen your relation and will be helpful in improving your condition.
What Type Of Expert To See For Help?
Many men don’t like to talk about their manly problems, it’s a matter of pride for them and they try to resolve it on their own. However, it’s always better to seek help of a healthcare professional. If you think that delay in ejaculation is due to some physical issues then you should consult urologist. The urologist will run tests to figure out the root cause before advising therapy.
If problem is due to some psychological issues then you must consult a sex therapist or sex counselor. Make sure that your sex therapist or counselor is certified by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) because these experts are trained to address both relationship issues and sexual concerns.
A sex coach can also be helpful when DE is not due to psychological issue. They try to figure out the primary cause via home activities and communication with the couple. A sex coach also provide guidance and support to the couple so that they can reach their goals. Again, you must make sure that your sex coach is AASECT certified.
1. Shin, D. H., & Spitz, A. (2014). The evaluation and treatment of delayed ejaculation. Sexual Medicine Reviews, 2(3-4), 121-133.
2. Althof, S. E. (2012). Psychological interventions for delayed ejaculation/orgasm. International journal of impotence research, 24(4), 131-136.
3. McMahon, C. G., Jannini, E., Waldinger, M., & Rowland, D. (2013). Standard operating procedures in the disorders of orgasm and ejaculation. The journal of sexual medicine, 10(1), 204-229.